I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The adults are the big ones right?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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