I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
