i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
