HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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