We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
