I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
