and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize