I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
