my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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