Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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