I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Where did you get a picture of my penis
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
