Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
