Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize