The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
