drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
