this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
