have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize