OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
