Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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