if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
