I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
