I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
