If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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