You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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