she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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