Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you still have your period?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
