Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
