new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
