so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
