Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
