I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
