talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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