i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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