i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
