In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
