You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
