im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
