careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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