What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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