I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize