There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
