you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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