I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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