Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
