Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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