Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize