Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
