You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
