So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
