Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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