Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
