dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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