As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
