I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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