We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
