Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
they need to just BURY HIM!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm at about main and main street
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
