So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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