I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
