Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
