Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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