He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize