every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the condom got lost in my hair
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
