Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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