well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
