some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
