Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize