Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
