I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
