i don't like sucking hair
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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