Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
