Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize