how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize