Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
