This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
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