But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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