Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
